May 06, 2026
đ§¨AMD Rips 17% To A New ATH On A Banger Q1, Iran-Talks Optimism + Crashing Oil Yeets Dow Higher
What in the Alabama meets Big Tech is this?
Well friends⌠Cousin Lisa just walked into Jensen’s house and pissed on his AI lawn. AMD caught most of the wandering eyes today as shares ripped 18% to a fresh $420 all-time high after dropping a $10.25 billion Q1⌠paced by $5.78 billion of data center revenue, up 57% YoY⌠then guided to $11.2 billion next quarter and pegged server growth at 70% YoY. All in Jensenâs own backyard.
In short, Lisa Su (read: AMD’s CEO) and Jensen Huang are actually first cousins, once removed. If you didnât know that already, you do now. (Side note: The two didn’t meet until well into their careers as Jensen had already left AMD decades earlier to start Nvidia, and Lisa walked in at SVP and turned the whole place around.) Fast forward to today, April 6th and AMD is eating Nvidiaâs home cooking in the data center.
How?
One reason: the industry is shifting from one CPU per four-to-eight GPUs in old data centers to a near 1:1 ratio in the next generation. Said another way, every new AI server farm needs roughly seven times more CPUs per GPU than the old ones. AMD makes the CPUs. Jensen makes the GPUs. The cousin is suddenly indispensable to the cousin’s empire, and that’s why server revenue is set to crank 70% YoY this quarter.
Naturally, the whole chip aisle full-sent on the results. Intel added 4%, while Arm ripped almost 13% ahead of itâs own earnings tonight. UBS’s Timothy Arcuri ramming his price target from $175 to $245 on Tuesday helped⌠which, you know, is a 40% target hike on a stock that’s been printing money since IPO. Arm’s pitch dovetails perfectly with AMDâs: hyperscalers want power-efficient CPUs to feed those new 1:1 racks, UBS sees Arm’s hyperscaler share running from ~15% to 45% by 2030, and the math just keeps on mathinâ.
Meanwhile, Nvidia also wired Corning $500 million on Wednesday for an optical-supply pact, rights to scoop up 15 million GLW shares at $180, and three new fiber-optic factories in North Carolina and Texas dedicated entirely to Nvidia’s AI buildout. Corning is the 174-year-old Gorilla Glass guys (read: responsible for every iPhone screen, every Galaxy screen, the literal pane in your hand.) As expected, investors understood the assignment as the stonk melted faces 14% on the day.
Elsewhere, Donny Do-Or-Donât (read: Trump) paused Project Freedom and floated a 14-point one-page MOU with Iran, citing “Great Progress”… then walked it back a whole cool minute later with “perhaps, a big assumption” and a threat that the bombing “starts at a much higher level and intensity” if Tehran balks. Oil cracked -6%, the Dow added 612, the Nasdaq tacked on 2.02%, and markets came off their highs once the threat hit Truth Social. We know the story by now.
Oh, and CDW (read: corporate America’s IT middleman) got kneecapped 20% after operating income missed by 18%… a $376 million print versus the $459 million Wall Street wanted⌠even though revenue and EPS technically beat. Margins compressed, gross margin slid 60 bps YoY, and the company reaffirmed mid-single-digit FY26 EPS growth.
Live look at Palantir investors to CDW shareholders today.
Aaaaand thatâs about it for today. Today it was all Cousin Lisa. Tomorrow tells us whether Tehran signs the one-pager (or eats round two), and whether Big Arm earned its 13% pre-game pop. Spoiler: Itâs a coin flip. Place your bets accordingly, friends. Until next timeâŚ
If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, hereâs our heatmap for today.
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Burry Bails on GameStop As Cohenâs eBay Fantasy Pushes the âInstant Berkshireâ Dream Off a Cliff
âI donât want to play with you anymore.â -Cassandra Unchained
Unfortunately, Ryah Cohenâs finance bro move yesterday has caused his biggest alliance to crumble.
Thatâs right, Roaring Kitty MIchael Burry has officially dumped the memestock for good. This also marks the âBig Shortsâ first public sale since launching his newsletter on substack (Final Tallyâs better btw).
This is all a reaction to Cohen rolling out one of the f***ing dumbestâŚ
Trumpâs âKill the Quarterly Circusâ Agenda Advances as Ken Griffin Warns of Transparency Blackout
âImagine if Henry Ford had quarterly earnings calls. He comes out with the automobile, a beautiful car, tremendous car⌠and some dope from JPMorgan says, âWell sir, horse sales are still looking very strong.â These are sick people. And quite frankly, why we need to get rid of quarterly earnings.â -Truth Social owner
It takes a special kind of confidence to lose $605 million on $1 million in revenue⌠and still decide investors are simply hearing from you too often.
Remember that time in the middle of Tariffmageddon, Donnie Politics proposed another idea that ruffled a lot of feathers? Well fast forward to today and the SEC just advanced his proposal of a rule change that would let public companiesâŚ
â Market Gossip
> Apollo CEO Rowan warns of market correction, slams âegregiousâ practices at rival insurers (CNBC): âAnyways, I started HODLâingâŚâ – literally everyone
> Anthropic Inks Computing Deal With SpaceX to Meet AI Demand (Bloomberg): Can we get a health check on Scam AltmanâŚ
> Google updates AI search to include quotes from Reddit and other sources (TechCrunch): If it ainât Reddit, I donât read itâŚ
> Elon Muskâs Terafab chip factory in Texas could cost up to $119 billion, filing shows (CNBC): Funding Debt, securedâŚ
CVS Crushes Q1 By 17%, Raises 2026 Guide $5B As Insurance Limb Goes Full-SendâŚ
Aetna-thinâ but a peanutâŚ
The insurance limb that almost killed CVS just printed the fourth (or fifth⌠Brian Newman lost count) straight beat-and-raise. Q1 EPS landed at $2.57 adjusted against the Street’s $2.20, a 17% beat. Revenue ripped to $100.43 billion versus the $95.09 billion expected. Aaaaand just like that the stock ripped 7%. Bigly.
As for the money shot, it was all Aetna. The unit that spent two years bleeding the parent dry just dropped its medical benefit ratio 270 basis points to 84.6%, a number so much better than the 86.3% analysts were modeling that you could basically see the shorts soiling themselves. Translation: Lower MBR = the insurer keeps more of the premium, less of it walks out the door as actual healthcare. Aetna is officially keeping more of your money.
Which means CVS now sees full-year EPS at $7.30 to $7.50, up from $7.00 to $7.20, and full-year revenue of “at least” $405 billion (up five fat billion from the prior outlook, just so we’re clear who lifted whom). Newman attributed the bulk of the raise to “tailwinds” at Aetna.
Additionally, pharmacy retail came in atâŚ
âWTFâ Meme of the Day
The internet stays undefeatedâŚ
Oh, and one more thingâŚ
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