May 22, 2026
🧨Reddit Gets Zucked… Revenge of the Computer Nerds
As the great Pablo Picasso once said, good artists copy… great artists steal.
(If you happened to read that opening line and immediately thought “he must be talking about a certain UFC fan” Ding. Ding. Ding. You are the winner).
Because Reddit shareholders got absolutely zucked on the final business day before Memorial Day weekend after Meta decided to do what Facebook Meta has done from the beginning: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V somebody else’s entire business model.
Just like Zuck allegedly copied the Winklevoss twins… then copied Elon’s Twitter with Threads… Marky Mark and the boys over at Meta Platforms apparently looked at Reddit and said: “Yeah… we’ll take one of those too.”
So, they created a new app called Forum… which is literally the exact same idea as reddit (probably just with more ads).
Shares of Reddit dropped roughly 6% Friday, bringing the stock down around 40% on the year now… despite the company’s ad business continuing to put up pretty solid numbers.
Meanwhile, even though Marco Rubio’s peace talks with Iran still haven’t amounted to a hill of beans (at least not yet) the market kept floating higher anyways, with the S&P 500 climbing 0.5%, the Nasdaq rising 0.5%, and the Dow tacking on another 0.8% as commodity-hungry businesses and traders alike started getting hopeful the Middle East might finally be inching closer to something resembling “calm.”
Over in tech land, household name PC stocks had themselves a field day.
Your grandpa’s favorite computer company (and the S&P’s #1 stock today), Dell exploded more than 16% to an all-time high after Lenovo reported its strongest PC, tablet, and smartphone sales growth in five years. (Mac Mini? Never heard of her.)
HP also erupted nearly 16% as investors started foaming at the mouth ahead of earnings next week.
Turns out consumers are still buying computers despite everyone claiming smartphones and AI assistants were supposed to replace them years ago. Funny how every “the PC is dead” prediction keeps aging like unrefrigerated sushi.
Although, Lenovo did admit some demand may have been pulled forward because companies are panic-buying hardware ahead of expected price increases and ongoing memory chip shortages tied to AI infrastructure demand.
Then there’s the Fed… where President Trump officially swore in Kevin Warsh as the new Federal Reserve Chair this afternoon.
During the ceremony, Trump had the audacity to say he wants an “independent Federal Reserve” which is kind of like your boss telling you, “make your own decisions… as long as they’re the ones I like.” In response, Warsh promised a “reform-oriented Federal Reserve” focused on escaping outdated economic models.
Translation: the money printer is about to go Brrr.
Anyways, that’s enough market brain rot from me for one week. Go enjoy your Memorial Day weekend, eat an irresponsible amount of hot dogs, and try not to check your phone too often in front of your grandma.
If you read all of this, congrats for having a 10 second attention span (better than me). As always, here’s our heatmap for today.
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Oura’s Wellness Cult Marches Toward Nasdaq IPO After Smart Ring Revenue Explodes 4x
Kid: Mommy, how did we get so rich?
Mom: Daddy ignored the SpaceX hype and mortgaged the entire house on Oura’s IPO…
If there’s one thing Wall Street loves more than an AI company burning $400 million a quarter… it’s a subscription business attached to it. And now pretty soon, the suits will have a brand-new wellness obsession to throw ridiculous price targets at.
That right, Oura (the company that convinced millions of people to pay a monthly subscription to learn they’re stressed, exhausted, and probably overtrained) has confidentially filed for an IPO with the SEC. And I’ll have to admit, when I saw the press release I kind of rolled my eyes and smirked… but the numbers are…
Asset Managers Laugh All the Way to the Bank as Retail Investors YOLO into Endless Space ETFs
Hey, there’s a bubble…
To avoid contradicting the blurb at the top of this article… I’m not saying a bubble’s about to burst… but I’m also not NOT saying it.
So what’s got me acting all weird at the moment? Well, just the fact that our good friend Elon has somehow convinced the entire world that the next trillion dollar gold rush is happening somewhere above Earth’s atmosphere.
And that this gold rush is set to happen in months… not years or even decades (as his arch rocket nemesis Jeff Bezos said…
☕ Market Gossip
>Pentagon releases more declassified UFO files, including intelligence officer’s account of seeing ‘orbs’ (ABC News):And they said it was hard to get Donnie to release files…
>Trump makes major investment in trendy revolving sushi chain (Fox Business):Is there a single stock that the White House hasn’t bought?
>Campbell Soup stock hasn’t been this low in over 30 years (Yahoo Finance):Gives “no soup for you” a whole new meaning.
>Beef prices soar as Americans prepare for Memorial Day cookouts (Consumer Affairs): Tubesteaks it is.
Anthropic Swoons Microsoft’s Maia Chip After Already Pimping Rest of Big Tech…
“I got hoes in different area codes” – Ludacris Daro Amodei, probably…
Well, it’s 2026 and there is absolutely NO compute partner Anthropic isn’t dipping its proverbial pen into, and as of yesterday, Satya is next. Sources confirmed that Dario “No Hands” Amodei is in talks with Microsoft to adopt the Maia 200 AI chip, the in-house silicon Satya rolled out in January but hasn’t bothered making available to actual Azure customers. No paperwork is signed (because, of course)”. The snitch “person familiar with the matter” was very clear about that. Which means as of now, both sides are still playing just the tip.
But the rumor is enough to make heads turn. For instance, Microsoft wrote Anthropic a $5 billion check six months ago. Anthropic immediately turned around and committed $30 billion to Azure. Friendly reminder: Side-Piece Satya (read: Nadella) has also sunk billions into OpenAI and briefly employed Sam Altman for what felt like a long weekend in November 2023.
Which makes Microsoft, at this point, the chip-sales equivalent of a hot tub with two dating apps open on the laptop. As for the Maia 200 itself, it’s the…
“WTF” Meme of the Day
Three points for Russ Hanneman…
Oh, and one more thing…
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